Safe and Sound
by WinterierLionheart
Summary: SuzLulu. AU. In a different world they were ordinary boys caught in a dystopian society bent on watching them lay down their lives. Lelouch grieves over the lover he never had and Suzaku finds a way to get back to him at all costs. Five part fic.
1. Part 1

Title: Safe and Sound

Pair: Suzaku/Lelouch

Rating: M

Warning: implied sex, blood, violence, war, grief, betrayal, distrust

11/27/12 2:59 pm

White Apple

* * *

Lelouch had known Suzaku since they were small children. They had lived on the same street and gone to the same school since they were both five or so. That was when the housing regulations still let them still stay within the same neighborhood, despite their race or income. That came years later, when school regulations and segregationist were implemented as well.

At the very least, as fate would have it, they were allowed to meet. In hand-me-down cloths and bare feet they were allowed to still be friends.

But the government had intervened. The regulations and laws had all stacked aging them and by the time that they had reached middle school they were torn apart to face the world alone.

Somehow that made it all the better when they both were assigned to the same platoon. Scrawny little Lelouch and thick-headed, broad Suzaku, officer and soldier, and friend finnaly allowed to be with friend. It may have been fate again that intervened on their behalf yet again. With the foundation of their friendship it wasn't a stretch to become the only two soldiers there always standing back to back. What they couldn't do alone, just maybe they both believed that they might just be able to do together.

* * *

"Do you think it will ever end, Lelouch?" Suzaku asked. His face was dirty, as always. His voice had that unusual kind of melancholy. "I mean the war." He went on. "Do you think they'll ever let us go home?"

It was another cold night in the trenches. The meager amount of them left in the quickly depleting forefront platoon were all huddled under tarps and remnants of tents to keep out of the rain. The storm outside raged on and on. The bombs going off around blended in with the thunder rolling all around them. In the end if it was the bombs or the thunder it was easier for everyone to just try and ignore the roar of sounds all outside their tent.

Lelouch paused, his lighter in hand and poised at the cigarette already in his mouth. He looked down, finishing his task before dousing the lighter and pushing it back into his pocket. He needed the time to think anyway. What was he to ever to say to Suzaku?

The truth? That was laughable. There was no way that they were going home anytime soon.

"We might." Lelouch settled upon. "Maybe someday, we might just see home again." He glanced up then, looking to Suzaku's face for confirmation if his decision to go vague was the right one.

Suzaku nodded. He gripped the rifle in his hands a bit more firmly as he nodded again, this time probably to himself.

Lelouch knew he was lucky to have a friend like Suzaku. When the rain had first started, Suzaku had been one of the few to help make sure everyone had at least something to huddle under. There were enough wounded among them for a risk of pneumonia to be a threat. The least they could all do was try to stay out of the cold rain. The nearest medical team was a good fifty miles or so away.

Survival of the fittest was Britania's general rule after all. Most of the wounded died that way, broken and despairing and lying in a pool of their own blood. Not a speck of effort wasted on those that were already proven ineffective in war.

Suzaku had been one of the few to recover a few soldiers from the muck of no-man's-land. They'd patched them up as good as a bunch of boy without any medical training could, before retreating back to their trenches to try and wait out the horrid conditions. The boy was a great soldier. If he'd been born Britannian he would have been a great officer.

It was just tonight, huddled close together under the tarp barely big enough to keep them both dry, Lelouch could see that look of Suzaku's creeping back in. If a man like that was losing hope here, now-Britannia was full of fools. They raise soldiers ripe for slaughter. What was the point of fighting this endless war when stepping in front of a bullet was so much easier?

Taking his cigarette out of his mouth to blow out a long warm breeze of smoke, he watched his lifelong friend. Suzaku needed to trust that they would go home one day.

The problem was Lelouch was nowhere near sure if they ever were going home himself. They were cattle out here. They would be used until there was nothing else to give, and then they would be tossed aside.

He leaned forward with a quirked smile. "You look like you've had a row in the mud." Lelouch said with a chuckle. He retrieved a handkerchief from his pack and tossed it to Suzaku. "At least clean off your face. How am I to keep you safe out there if I can't even recognize you?"

Suzaku caught the handkerchief, looking down at it for a moment. He held it in his hand delicately for a moment more. He didn't look up even as he spoke. "You always take care of me, Lelouch." When his eyes did lift, they were with that same sad smiling expression Lelouch was so deathly afraid of seeing.

It was silent for a moment, neither wanting to take the moment any farther. Suzaku looked back down at the wash cloth and Lelouch took another drag from his cigarette.

"We'll, I can't take care of you very well if I can't tell the difference between you or the enemy," He looked away. "Now clean up! That's an order, Private Kururugi!" Lelouch growled out as he replaced the warm, burning cigarette in his mouth.

As he raised the cloth to his face, Suzaku smiled, this time more his normal overly annoyingly, optimistic self. "Yes, sir."

It didn't escape Lelouch's notice that Suzaku still treated that handkerchief with delicate care, and when he went to hand it back Lelouch just waved it off. He pretended not to notice as Suzaku neatly folded the thing and tucked it into his own pack.

* * *

It had always been war. When they were small children they would watch it from their homes. On the TV, yes, but more from watching it standing off for the side of the street.

In the bigger cities they had a whole parade of boys walking off to the war effort. All in grey suits of the empire, there were thousands of them that went every year, marching through the streets. It was supposed to be a celebration, all those men reaching the age of manhood and serving their empire. Their service to their empire would last ten years.

In their slums though, it was a meager amount of boys that left every year. As the desertion rates rose, more boys fleeing the authorities in hope of some sort of freedom instead of the certain death of the front line, the parade of tall, boys, still very much just kids, grew more pathetic with each passing year.

They still held the parades in the bigger cities, the cities that actually saw a good portion of those boys returning. But now in the slums and the outskirts, the authorities just came to whisk a boy away. There was less that could make a run for it that way.

Lelouch had been older so he had left first. He was good at every kind of strategically test they threw him, and he was a pure blood Britannian. He'd been promoted easily. But he was still common scum and so had been putin charge of a few lesser non-Britannian soldiers.

Or at least Lelouch thought that he had been the first to go. He'd found out that regulation long before had been passed under the rug. All non-Britannian's were being called to service at fifteen. Of course, those boys never got parades, so no one noticed, and if they did they we disregarded.

By the time Lelouch saw his first real battle, first real struggle to keep his own life and the lives of several other boys alive, Suzaku had been doing it for three years.

* * *

"The officers in Bulgaria are all talking about the new women's mandate." Ohgi, said as he hungrily devoured the rations in front of him.

Lelouch would have let him have more but it was weeks before anyone could count on another shipment of supplies. It was easier to ration from the very beginning than to have banquets only followed by nigh starvation.

He handed over a canteen of water though. With the ever present storm looming over their heads, there was plenty of water to go around.

All huddled around the meager fire, a large majority of the platoon listened for any news that Ohio could give of the outside world. Since the mail service has been discontinued (official reports all claimed it was an utter waste of valuable resources) none of them had heard a thing beyond the ever present thunderstorm mixed with scattered showering of bombs.

"They're running out of soldiers." Lelouch stated. More to himself. Whatever information he could glean from their regulations and laws, he learned could be very valuable in the future.

"They say it's all for equality of men and women." Ohgi said as he shoveled in another mouthful. The road had clearly been harder than they would have guessed. "It's going to be implemented at eighteen like for boys."

Lelouch watched carefully. He had to keep his tongue in check. He just knew Britannia must be desperate to start sending young women out as well. He had thought that the drop in birth rates were at the forefront of their minds. Then again maybe it was... What was the point of providing for fruitless brides when they could always be used as targets in the battlefield instead?

It was worth a few minutes thought at the least. But it was thoughts for another time.

"It will go into effect in about a week and they'll start shipping them out to the front lines." Ohgi said.

Lelouch nodded. He didn't like the idea too well. Knightmares were being issued less and less all the time leaving them with only the blunt force of infantry to hold already established lines. Sending out woman in to those lines just sounded-brutal, and wrong. They already practically sent children. What would be next the old and the ill? Why couldn't they just keep the women in the office positions? Keep them safe there. Besides that, a minority of women in a sea of desperate men, and completely intentional ignorance by all police efforts-that would only lead to worse consequences.

Suzaku slid in next to Lelouch, on his haunches as he spoke. "They're issuing them just like us. With only three weeks of training and a gun?" He sounded as saddened by this news as Lelouch was disturbed.

"It sounded like that. One of the officers there was even telling me that they're not going to make anything different for the women, no different showers, nothing." Ohgi said as he finished off his bowl of food. "They're not even changing uniform production at all."

Suzaku just looked down. Lelouch could see it again, flashing into those features, that saddened look that was appearing more and more. It was when Suzaku got up and left that Lelouch shifted his position marking that he wanted to do the same. This talk was unsettling. It was purely unsettling. Were there no rules to anything? Lelouch huffed.

He already knew that answer. This empire had been on a quest for ages to destroy any traces of God left in society.

* * *

It had started with the right to religion revoked. Praying had become unpopular, then frowned upon, then it had simply become illegal. Church's, mosques, synagogues had all be searched and striped, remade into some public building for the government.

It was a stripping, taking the ideas of any supreme being from out of their lives all together. It started with the young. In schools they taught that logic outweighed all else. That it was the strong that would, survive. There was no hope for the weak. That very Christian idea of pity or mercy was only taught further in context that they were emotions purely, something to be ignored.

By the end of it all, Lelouch had gleaned enough information to know exactly what the intended message was. There was no God. There was only man. And because there was no God there was no such thing as a higher law. Consciousness was a thing only thought up by weaker men. And because there was no consciousness, no higher law, then rules could be dictated by man, and only man alone. In other words, all sense of morality, kindness, right and wrong were all dictated by whatever human could assert himself over other humans.

Without any God there was no line between right and wrong. In this life there was only the empire. And an amoral, carnal empire at that. They deemed the slaughter of innocent boys and now girls to be just. And because there was no God, no morals to fight it, they were all stuck with in that warped sense of judgment.

* * *

Lelouch caught up with Suzaku as he was rounding back to their meager tarp. Lelouch walked close, choosing not to speak. Whatever was mulling around in Suzaku's head certainly wasn't good, but Lelouch didn't have any desire to have this conversation out in the open. There was enough whole hearted supporters of the empire around that Lelouch wouldn't doubt if he'd be turned in for the things he wanted to say.

He ducked his head in under the small space under the tarp after Suzaku in hopes that maybe just his company would have some amount of effect on Suzaku.

It didn't. They only sat there in silence. Lelouch watched Suzaku, and Suzaku watched everywhere but Lelouch.

It wasn't until several minutes later, when Lelouch had almost lost all hope of hearing his friend give any sort of attention, that Suzaku finally spoke.

"I think it's wrong." His voice was barely above a whisper. He looked fearful; knowing that what he was saying could get him arrested. There was that same sadness in his eyes now as he still refused to look Lelouch in the eye. "I think sending women out here to be as defenseless and as hopeless as us is wrong."

He looked almost angry then. "They don't care about equality. They don't care about us." A disgusted frown marred Suzaku's face. "They're just going to let those women rot and die out here, just like all of us." The emotions finally broke as a tear did. "It's wrong. No matter what they say, it is wrong."

What was there to say? Lelouch looked away, knowing there wasn't much else to do. But if nothing else he could at least validate his friend. "Yeah." He looked down at his hands. "I know, it is wrong."

And there wasn't a thing either of them could do. In the end, they just sat there, their knees barely touching and both looking down at their hands.

* * *

Love became just as irrelevant as faith around the time Lelouch was ten. He remembered it because of his best friend. He remembered it because he saw the pain it had caused in his best friend.

Suzaku's mother had never been in the best of health. Suzaku always told Lelouch that she was frail. He never said much more about it just that she was frail, and delicate.

When she finally collapsed, Lelouch had watched from his front porch as the authorities took her away. Suzaku had ran after the ambulance only to be chastised by his father.

Later that night, Lelouch had asked when Suzaku was going to visit his mother at the hospital. The only answer was more tears as Suzaku shook his head.

Lelouch never saw Suzaku's mother again, and Lelouch was pretty sure neither did Suzaku for that matter.

When he was older he learned that the sick were institutionalized. But really that was a nice way of saying she was sent away so that they could pretend to care for her and in the end just let the ill and useless die. Non-Britannians weren't allowed visiting hours at these health institutions. It was a hard realization but Lelouch came to the conclusion that Suzaku's mother was probably put on a starvation path after finding her situation chronic. She was probably dead within a couple days.

* * *

A bit of news always got through. The necessary news to keep the war going. Letters were banned, not that anyone would carry them. There was no access to anything electronic so anything along those lines was impossible. But orders still needed to be relayed. And occasionally there was some news to come through.

"Kururugi!" Tamaki hollered, holding up the small envelope as he sorted through the meager little official news to just come in with the supply shipment.

He held it there for a moment with no answer before Lelouch looked around enough to know that Suzaku was nowhere in ear shot. It had been a long time since Suzaku had stood in the circle of others eager boys, hoping for any amount of news, despite the fact all common sense told there would be none.

Lelouch realized how-odd that was for just a moment. Suzaku always had hope. He was Mr. Ever-Smile after all. It was annoying, his look on the brighter side of life attitude and yet... Furrowing his brow, Lelouch didn't like the direction this was headed in.

He stepped forward to Tamaki. "I'll take that to him." Lelouch said as he took the small letter.

Finding Suzaku was easy enough. He was knee deep in mud, helping a few other men raise a tent that had come through the shipment. It wasn't new, a few holes, tattered edges, but it was better than anything they had there. No doubt it was so they could move the wounded in before the next thunder storm hit.

Catching his attention, Lelouch waved Suzaku over to him. Lelouch also noticed that Suzaku wasn't smiling. At least up until he pulled that fake smile on as he approached Lelouch.

"This is for you." Lelouch handed over the small letter. Making sure to be discrete, Lelouch watched for Suzaku's reaction.

Surprise, and confusion crossed over Suzaku's face first. He starred down at the letter for a moment, saying nothing, before he unceremoniously tore it open. He unfolded the one page letter and held up for him to read. He read it quickly it seemed. Because the next minute he handed it back to Lelouch.

There was change in that stoic face, slight, but the way that those eyes shifted down. How all presences of even a faked smile fell away set Lelouch off. "What is it?" Lelouch persisted.

Suzaku just shook his head. His hands fell limply to his sides. He studied the ground for a moment more before he swallowed hard, seeming to gulp down all emotion as he lifted his chin. "You can read it." Suzaku looked back to tent. "I have to go finish helping."

By the time Lelouch's eyes we down on the piece of paper, Suzaku was jogging back to help the others raise the tent.

Lelouch's mouth fell open as he read. He looked up, not sure what else to do or say, just standing there. How could Suzaku just... This was... "Your father's dead..." He finally verbalized. Just to say it, just hear it and let it be said.

What was wrong with his Suzaku? What had happened to the golden boy he once knew? Where was he? And what on God's earth was Lelouch to ever do to get him back?

Lelouch was still standing there, frozen, when the subordinate soldier approached.

"Sir?"

Startled, Lelouch looked over to see another boy soldier holding out a letter to him as well.

"This came for you, sir." The boy said .

"Uh, thanks." Lelouch mouthed as shaky hands took the letter.

The boy raced off back to the supply truck. It was no surprise, supplies at the very least meant more food, a comfort often not available out here.

He opened his own letter slower than Suzaku had torn through his. He lifted the paper out slow, unfolding it with carful fingers, before he lifted it to read.

When he looked up he swallowed as well. His eyes went straight to Suzaku. Even in the mud and the muck he was still slaving away to help others. They were having problems planting the center beam, the ground was too soft.

"Bloody hell." Lelouch breathed. His eyes wide as his arms dropped with letter clutched in hand.

* * *

Five shot anyone? Okay so this story is—sad? Depressing? All that and more! By the way, the title is from Taylor Swifts, Safe and Sound, for the Hunger Games movie. Yeah, it's one of those guilty pleasure songs I hide best I can on my iPad whenever friends are around… Hey! We all have those songs, okay! We all freaking have them!

~Reviews are Awesome!~


	2. Part 2

**Special Thanks:EriEri99, Wolf of Summer, Lawli, Yuzuke Inohara, kaki**

Warning: plenty of blood and death in this one.

Safe and Sound

Part 2/5

* * *

First, love was made irrelevant, but when that wasn't enough, it was attacked. The regulations on marriage piled like leaves in fall. The first laction taken taken was the ban of all no-Britanian and Britanian unions but it only escalated from there.

That's when the Great Race program had began. It was to optimize the potential for prime Britanian children. Only women and men who were adequately fertile were allowed to be with each other. The same restrictions were applied to lower classes as well, only they were applied with more brute force.

By middle school, any kind of explicit act outside of a government sanctioned union was illegal.

Lelouch remembered the first time he saw the punishment for such acts. They were all gathered in the school yard, segregated of course, but all present to watch as two of their peers were presented on the raised platform used for announcements.

While the principle read the crimes it finally occurred to Lelouch-his expression desperate he searched the faces of his non-Britanian class mates on the other side of the courtyard-the utter loss of hope embedded with in him.

Forced on their knees, the boy on the stage gritted his teeth and the girl cried out. Lelouch's eyes twitched and his hands fidgeted, trying to stay still as he searched.

"These irresponsible and lewd acts can only have one punishment!" The principles voice bit through the air straight to Lelouch's ears. Lewd? It had been a kiss.

He winced and swallowed hard as he looked even harder.

The first crack of the whip across the boys back sent a jerk through Lelouch's body. But in that instant, he found him.

Suzaku's wide green eyes were staring right back at Lelouch.

Lelouch jerked and tensed again as the girl screamed, the whip cracking over her back. His mouth open he looked right back up to Suzaku.

That stare, that one stare was enough to say it all. Two fourteen year old boys staring at each other across the yard and they both just-knew.

Lelouch could feel his breath shudder. Suzaku tried to smile at him. It was that same sad smile. But it faded quickly as the whip hit across both the boy and girl s back again.

Why was their lives so hopeless? Lelouch asked in his mind. Even now looking across the yard at the one thing he always had counted on to give him just another ounce of hope. It was being made crystal clear to both boys. There was no hope. There would never be hope for them.

Lelouch watched until the boy and girl were both bleeding. Their backs exposed. The pleas had long been silenced with answered cruelty. There was no hope after all. There was no such thing as mercy. As the rest of the students started back to their classes, Lelouch stayed behind, starring at the two students still bent over their knees. They were alive, but they would never venture out to find each other again.

But what frightened Lelouch the most was the thought that-that it could have very well been Suzaku and him up there.

He turned his head slowly to where Suzaku was standing. He had hung back as well, only he wasn't watching the offenders. His eyes were solely focused on Lelouch.

Put line here

"Suzaku," Lelouch said as he crawled under their tarp, hoping he would find his friend.

He wasn't there. Nor was he at the mess tent or any other tent for that matter. Lelouch swore under his breath. He needed to find that boy, before the word got out Lelouch needed to be the one that found that boy. He stalked back though their camp swiftly as he could. It was rare that Suzaku even made himself this inaccessible.

That only made it all worse. He wasn't acting right at all these last few months. Something was gone, lost somewhere alone the long road of this perpetual war.

Finally, Lelouch spotted him. Standing alone out in the open, and just looking up at the sky. Of course he would. In a world where there was a perpetual storm brewing and constant overcast sky's, this boy decides to just watch the clouds.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch called as he quickened his pace over to the boy.

Suzaku looked down for only a moment. Then he looked right back up.

"I've been looking for you everywhere." Lelouch said in an exasperated tone.

A shrug was his only answer. Suzaku looked back down at his feet. "I-I just kind of felt like being alone for a while." Lelouch could just hear it in his voice. There was no other word to describe it beyond just-sad."I just wanted to think about everything, about my dad..."

Oh. Lelouch froze. He'd completely forgotten. In his frantic search to make sure his own news didn't get out too soon he'd completely spaced the letter his best friend had received as well.

Suzaku looked back up at the sky. "I found some stars." He smiled this time as he spoke.

Looking up, Lelouch was surprised to find that, yes, Suzaku had indeed found some stars. It was just a small patch peeking out through the engulfing tide of dark grey clouds, but it was at least a few.

He sighed looking up at them. How was it so easy for that boy to always remind Lelouch of the small things? Lelouch wasn't sure he could ever survive with out that boy. Looking back down, Lelouch pressed his lips together in a worrisome line.

"Suzaku," he started as he took an uneasy step forward. "I need to speak to you."

It was a moment before Suzaku looked back down at him. "What is it?" He asked with a cock of his head just slightly.

Lelouch cleared his throat taking another step closer. "Not here." He shook his head. Subtly he looped his hand into the collar of his military uniform and gave a swift tug, telling Suzaku it would be best if they discussed this in private.

With a nod, Suzaku already started back to their little tarp lean-to. Lelouch tried to avoid meeting any ones eyes as he trailed after. It was late enough lanterns and flashlights were all starting to be doused as the soldiers huddled into their small hovels and shanty shelters for some sleep.

Suzaku held the tarp's overhanging open for Lelouch to duck under before he scrambled in after him. It was as always a bit cramped. Not that it ever bothered either of the two. Lelouch looked down as Suzaku sat down across from him, letting his knee rest against Lelouch's. it was nice.

"Lelouch?" Suzaku said after another silent moment.

Startled out of his revelry, Lelouch's eyes flicked up. "Yeah." He fumbled for words for once in his life. He opened his mouth to try and force anything out, but nothing came for just a moment.

Just the thought, even just the thought and Lelouch-he couldn't do this. He shook his head, his hands coming up to paw at his face.

That warm touch as Suzaku leaned forward to lay his hand on Lelouch's shoulder only made Lelouch feel nauseous. Suzaku needed him. He needed Suzaku! This couldn't be happening.

"Hey," Suzaku said in a soft tone. "What-what is it?" He sounded hesitant, as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to know or not.

Abruptly Lelouch's head tilted up. He just had to get it out. All at once. He just had to tell him.

"I'm being transferred to the lines in France. I just received the orders today."

It was like he'd struck Suzaku across the face. The boy recoiled almost immediately. His entire body retracted, huddling in closer to himself.

"They're sending me out by the end of the week. They're also moving this regiment to the Austria line." They both knew exactly what that meant. Regiments sent to the Austria front never really came back.

Suzaku let his head drop. Letting that wild tangle of hair fall to block his face from view.

Lelouch was quiet, listening mostly. He heard it and saw it all at the same time. Suzaku sniffed just as the first tear rolled down that tan cheek and fell from his jaw line on to the tattered gray uniform jacket. More were quickly following.

That was it. That made up Lelouch's mind. He wouldn't, couldn't leave this boy. Not now, not ever. Suzaku had lost everything, and he wasn't losing Lelouch.

"I'll never let you go." Lelouch whispered. "I'll find a way, even if I have to drag you with me. This won't happen like this."

That shaking frame only trembled more as Suzaku raised his head. He opened his mouth first, that tear stained face fully clear this time around. "Please, Lelouch, don't leave me here alone."

His own mouth was left agape this thine, staring at Suzaku across their small shared lean-to. Lelouch felt like he could barely even think let alone articulate into words.

Then with a surge forward Suzaku bowled right into Lelouch. He was crying even harder now as his hands clamped on to Lelouch's officers jacket and he pressed his face into Lelouch's chest.

Surprised again, Lelouch was at the very least was shocked back into brain function. They could be investigated for this. Being between two men, they could be detained for this! Being between an officer and a non-Britanian soldier-they could be put in front of a firing squad for this.

And yet... It was worth it. Lelouch closed his eyes, leaning down into his friend. His lips pressed to Suzaku's matted and dirty hair for a kiss. His arms went around Suzaku shoulders, holding on as tight as he possibly ever could.

They could have been easily caught like that, tangled in each others arms. But instead of fret Lelouch held Suzaku all the more tighter. He rested his cheek against the crown of Suzaku head, just breathing in the sent of the man laying across his chest.

"Just close your eyes."Lelouch instructed. "I won't let any one hurt us." He hoped against al hope on his own words. "It will be all right."

It was at least a good hour until Suzaku did finally let his tears subside. By then Lelouch was slowly coaxing him into sleep.

"I won't let these shadows steal your light." Lelouch said in an undertone voice long after Suzaku had drifted off.

* * *

They were both awake long before morning. Lelouch closed his eyes holding Suzaku closer to him. This was the first time they had ever-

It was terrifying. Even just holding eachother through the long night. It had been terrifying to constantly be listening to make sure they weren't discovered. And at the same time it had been such a relief. Like a release, to finally just lay with each other had washed over Lelouch like a peaceful refreshing spring rain.

The storm out side cracked with a loud clatter again.

The two of them had to separate. They had to step back behind those drawn lines of plutonic friendship.

There was a flash as lightening hit the ground, not far off followed close by a monstrous roar as that beast of a storm pounded on over their heads. Lelouch tilted his head to watch at the edge of the tarp for any signs of life. Water was already leaking in.

There would be problems all over the camp and Lelouch didn't doubt that they would soon come and search for him.

Instead of action though, Lelouch closed his eyes again, turning his head so that he could press a gentle kiss to Suzaku's temple. Suzaku was in worse strains than ever. His eyes were swollen and blood shot. His entire face just looked weary. How long had it been since the boy had had the courtesy of a descent shower?

Lelouch brushed his fingers through Suzaku's fringe trying to clear it all away from his face.

"I'm tired." Suzaku abruptly said.

Pausing, Lelouch considered his words. That hadn't been said in context of Suzaku needing more sleep. It was in that tone, with that expression. That sadness radiating now from him.

Stilled by his words, Lelouch wasn't sure what to reply. He took in a shuddering breath before whispering. "I know." Because he could see it in Suzaku. He could see it in his face, he could hear it in his voice. Especially when Suzaku thought no one else was looking, it was just coming off him in waves.

"I don't want to be here any longer." It was quiet and said with almost a sigh.

Lelouch tightened his hold around Suzaku's shoulders. Finally, finally Suzaku was telling him something. He was confirming every aching suspicion Lelouch had about him. But in the end, Lelouch didn't know how to counter it.

He sat up, clutching at Suzaku. "It will be alright." Lelouch could hear the plea in his own voice. "We'll get through this war. Well go home. It will be just you and me and we'll live peaceful perfect lives forever." There was practically beggingin there for, please, please stay with me for that.

Suzaku pulled away then. He shook his head as he straightened himself up. "No." He murmured. "I'm never going home. This war will be the end for me."

Before Lelouch could do anything, say anything. Suzaku shuffled out of the lean-to and away.

Lelouch felt his hands trembling as his fingers raised to his lips."please, Suzaku," he said in a whisper. "Don't do this."

* * *

Relocation of an entire regiment was never an easy task. Besides trying to up root and move through that blasted ever present storm there were so many other things to consider.

Unfortunately Lelouch along with the other officers had never expected that the EU would have forces waiting for them in the road.

Within minutes the remnants of the Britanian forces scattered through the forest trees. They hastily were all loading guns, searching for any sort of explosive aerial missile to throw.

Lelouch gave a groan as his body hit the ground, Suzaku slamming down next to him.

Breathing had, Lelouch tried to right himself around to get a better view. "We need the radio." He gasped to Suzaku. "We need a Knightmare if we plan to get out of this alive."

Suzaku nodded, loading his sniper rifle as quick as he could. It didn't go unnoticed that he also shoved two clips into his front pocket as well.

Lelouch bolted up the next second, dodging his way through the cross fire to try and get to one of the trucks. They had a radio there. Lelouch could call for an air strike, for reinforcements, anything so long as he could get them all out of there.

Half way to one of the guard trucks, Lelouch stumbled, gaining enough time for him to come face to face with an EU soldier. The man in a ble uniform was holding a gun up to him and Lelouch's eyes widened.

His breath was stolen in the next second as a bullet whizzed past his ear. It struck the man in front of him in the fore head, knocking him to the ground.

Eyes still wide, Lelouch looked behind himself to see Suzaku still aiming straight ahead. He shot two more blue uniformed soldiers, all perfect shots, surrounding the guard truck before he lowered the rifle. He pushed Lelouch back into a run this time as he spun around checking all sides around them.

Lelouch scrambled his way through the thicket and slammed into the side of the armored vehicle. Suzaku was the one to pull Lelouch back up to his feet and out of his daze to shove him in the direction of the passengers side door.

"Bloody locked!" Lelouch hissed as he yanked at the door.

"Go round then!" Suzaku hollered back at him. He immediately raised the rifle to his shoulder and dropped three more soldiers headed in their direction.

He let his hands lead him along his way around the truck. Making it to the drivers side, he wretched open the door. His fingers weren't acting as fast as he would like, but he managed to get ahold of the bulky radio receiver. He relayed coordinates and the situation code as swiftly as he could.

The breath on his lips stopped though.

"Get out!" The boy younger than Lelouch hissed, a pistol held shakily up to Lelouch.

Hesitant, but knowing his life was worth more than his pride, Lelouch slid out of the truck. The radio was still in hand as he raised them up over his head. He watched the shaky boy evenly as he stepped away from the drivers door.

"Put down the radio!" The boy said. He held the gun up a bit higher, aiming for Lelouch's forehead.

Glancing around, it looked like there wasn't much escape from this EU soldier. "It doesn't matter now." Lelouch licked his dry lips. "I've already called it in. They'll be here with in minutes." Or at least he hoped they would be coming. He had yet to receive any confirmation. With any ounce of divine providence, the boy in front of him would at least believe the bluff.

Suddenly there was the cock of a rifled from just to Lelouch's side. His head jerked in that direction. Rifle reloaded with a new clip, Suzaku was standing at the front of the armored truck. His eyes were sure and focused as he aimed the gun with confidence at the blue-uniformed boy.

"Leave this one alone," Suzaku growled out. "Just turn around and find another target, soldier." He took a great step forward. "Otherwise, I will shoot you."

Emotion suddenly swelled in Lelouch's chest. This was his Suzaku. The boy that would do absolutely anything to protect him. And juxtaposed to the shaky child that still clutched at a pistol, the differences between them were stark. The confidence of an assured and capable soldier put up against the uncoordinated fumbling of a child was enough to make Lelouch really realize the world they had been forced to grow up in. What they had been forced to become so quickly was quite real in that moment.

The boy looked nervous. But he didn't look like he was going to so easily give in to Suzaku's demands. It was a long tense moment before he lowered the pistol in hand.

Suzaku nodded, lowering the rifle as well as he side stepped to Lelouch's side. Lelouch lowered his hands, breathing out a sigh of relief as he did so. He could practically feel as Suzaku stepped closer to him.

It was then in that momentary silence that Lelouch became aware of the fact it was starting to rain again. Sheet lightning flashed over head before there was the loud rumble of thunder. He heard the rain as it started to hit the truck. They weren't soft drops either. Cold and heavy, they bit against Lelouch's skin as he started to feel the rain for himself.

Then abrupt there was a voice on the radio. "We copy that, lieutenant Lamprouge. We assure you forces are en route to your location."

Lelouch's eyes flicked up to see that boy. Suzaku took another hasty step towards Lelouch.

"You're an officer?" the boy hissed. And then Lelouch could see it twist on his face. That hatred, that rage but most of all that bloodthirsty look of greed. Killing an officer was no small task after all.

Suzaku acted just as fast as the boy. Just as the pistol was raised, Suzaku charged. As the boy aimed Suzaku kicked around, slamming his foot against the barrel of the gun and sending it flying.

The gun slid off into a wet layer of muck and dirt.

"You will leave him alone." Suzaku snarled at the boy before he charged again. He knocked the boy back, glaring him down as he set in his own battle stance.

The boy put his hands up then, showing his surrender.

And Suzaku, being the honorable man he was, nodded, turning to trudge back to Lelouch. And maybe it would have been alright after that. Maybe there could have been some thing out there left to life.

But life had never gone their way. And as Lelouch watched the next events play out, he realized that life never would go his way. He truly believed if given the chance he could have pulled Suzaku up and out of his sadness, made him realize the value of his own life, and that there was hope.

And he would always believe that because it was the 'could have been' that would forever permeate his mind. Every one has one after all. The 'maybe' that they never forgot about...

With a snarl, that boy bowled forward intent on making it past Suzaku. But Suzaku realized less than a foot from Lelouch, and he spun, taking the boy's impact completely. In the wet mud, both of them slide back. Lelouch gasped as Suzaku was abruptly right in front of Lelouch, causing him to take a step back. With that step back, he realized immediately that he was trapped. With the truck behind him and Suzaku in front, doing his best to throw off the boy struggling to claw his way to strangling Lelouch's throat, there was no where for Lelouch to go.

In a flash of metal, Lelouch realized that the boy had brandished a knife and was now stabbing at Suzaku. The boy flailed around, stabbing at anything in arms reach, forcing Suzaku in to the defensive. Suzaku took another step back. His back hit Lelouch in the chest and Suzaku's startled eye came into view as his head whirled around to look at Lelouch.

Lelouch's breath caught as he saw it them. In Suzaku's eyes, the sadness was back. There was also something new there, determination.

"No!" Lelouch cried out, knowing exactly what was going to happen next.

It was too late though. Suzaku lunged forward with a bolt of speed and headed straight into that knife.

The boys eyes widened just as Lelouch's did the same.

Suzaku took the moments hard won surprise and immediately latched his hands around the boys neck. His hands constricted tightly.

The boy let out a gargled sound of protest, ripping the knife from Suzaku middle. But Suzaku didn't budge. He gritted his teeth through the pain and only tightened his hold around the boys neck even more. The boys struck out again, this time slamming the knife between Suzaku's ribs. Then again and even a third time before finally his limbs went limp.

Breathing hard, Suzaku shoved the body away for him as he staggered back. He raised a hand over the wound profusely bleeding from his middle.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch cried as he grabbed forward, clutching at Suzaku's shoulders to keep him up right.

In the slick mud they were loosing footing fast though. With a look of despair, Lelouch slowly lowered them down to the ground, cradling Suzaku's head in his lap. The boy lay on his back, eyes starring up at the sky.

Tearing open the grey uniform jacket, Lelouch suddenly felt nauseous. Even in the rain he could smell the blood. It pooled over Suzaku abdomen and was gaining ground over that white shirt.

Lelouch's hand went over his mouth for a second. His eyes watered as he looked down at the mess. There would be no one in the Britanian army willing to take the effort to spare his life. No one... As the tears started to fall, Lelouch pretended to wipe some of the dirt from his face in hopes of clearing it away.

In respect to his friend, Lelouch tucked the jacket closed again.

Those big green eyes looked up to him as Suzaku opened his mouth. Blood leaked from the corner of his mouth before with trembling lips he managed a word. "Lelouch,"

The sob broke as Lelouch's resolve crumbled at the earnest look on his friends face. He laid his trembling hands down, starting to pet through that tangled mess of brown curls. He looked up for a moment before he made up his mind and took real initiative to soothingly pet through those curls.

"Just close your eyes, Suzaku." Lelouch said.

There was a blast as one of the guard trucks was sent up in flames. The EU soldiers had the upper hand now, and they knew it. They were pushing the Britannians all into the forests, scattering them. Everything was frantic around them as soldiers ran for their lives now.

None of it mattered to Lelouch though as he pulled the most sincere smile on as he could manage and looked down into those green eyes. "You'll be alright."

He looked up, desperate as he pointed out to Suzaku. "Look, the sun is going down. They won't find us in the darkness. It's just you and me here."

There was a glimmer of a smile then on Suzaku's lips. He coughed, blood bubbling from his mouth.

The tears still poured down Lelouch's face. "Don't worry, Suzaku. By morning this will all be gone."

There was a deep toned hum over head, marking the approach of hover craft. Lelouch didn't even look up to se to whom it belonged. It didn't matter anyway.

"Come morning light, you and I will be safe and sound." Lelouch reiterated to his friend.

Suzaku swallowed hard, his own tears spilling now as he looked up into Lelouch's eyes. "Lelouch," he rasped out again.

"Sssshhhh." Lelouch purred. He moved his hands down caressing at his friends cheeks, "just close your eyes. I promise, you'll be alright."

Closing his mouth, Suzaku searched Lelouch's face for a few more seconds before he nodded. It was a long moment more, both of them memorizing ever aspect of the other face before those green eyes slowly slid closed.

Lelouch leaned forward, pressing a solemn and gentle kiss to Suzaku's forehead.

The hum in his ears of the hover craft was growing closer and he whispered his last goodbye to his friend. He could feel Suzaku's body growing slack. He couldn't even hear an ounce of breath. It had only been mere seconds and his friend was already gone.

Looking up, Lelouch's hair whipped in the force of the wind caused by the hover craft as it approached. It was almost directly over head. Lelouch just sat there still, letting his thumb still caress over his friends tan cheek.

It wasn't until the hover craft started to descend, threats blaring down at him and the other soldiers that Lelouch finally slid out from under Suzaku limb body. He let his fingers dust through Suzaku's locks one last time in goodbye before he struggled up to his feet.

He took the rifle Suzaku had left, fishing the extra clip from Suzku's jacket pocket and took off into the thicket.

* * *

Not going to lie, every little while I keep thinking, "I'm kinda getting offer this Fandom." But then something reminds me of how much I actually still like it. I may be around for quite a while, then again Drarry fics have been on my mind a lot too. I don't know, we'll see what happens. Haha, if nothing else I have quite a few Suzululu storries that just need polished and posted.

~Reviews are Awesome!~


	3. Part 3

**Special Thanks: kaki, Lawlipop, EriEri99, Borderss, Piggy 7869**

* * *

Part 3/5

* * *

In then end, the reinforcements had come. Lelouch was granted knighthood for his deeds there. He was raised to a post in France still. He was over more men and was granted a black uniform, as a show of office.

Suzaku's body was reported as 'lost in the rubble.' Lelouch never returned, not willing to have to face the prospect that he was still lying there next to that guard truck, but no one cared enough to pick up or even ID his body.

In the end, Lelouch just became a good officer. He devoted his life to his declining empire and threw himself into that war. It was better than self destruction, Lelouch always told himself.

His own lack of interest in how his empire slowly lost enemy line after enemy line was not lost on him. He found himself even throwing cogs in the wheels of that great Britanian war machine. To him, they were just the great beast that took the life of his lover.

That had changed as well inside of him. Yes, he thought it, he felt it. Suzaku had been his lover. Not just a childhood friend. They had both known it too.

And that empire had stolen it from him. They had stolen everything.

So In the end, he exacted his revenge in one simple way-the utter display of absolute indifference. It was the sweetest revenge to sit at the helm and smile while he steered that war ship straight into the rocks.

* * *

He was still smiling the day the destruction came to his door.

He'd been in charge of a regiment twice the size and four times better equipped than the one he'd started out in. He slept every night In his own private quarters, on a bed big enough for four. He spent so many of those night lying awake thinking of the time he'd spent hold up under a tarp lean-to-and how much he wanted those moments back.

Now he stood at the head of the war carrier under siege. The transporter had already been breached. His soldiers were all screaming at him. And he just shook his head and smiled. Thinking to himself all the while, it looks like his wild ride was over.

By the time those soldiers wearing all blue uniforms stormed in, Lelouch was the last man left at the helm.

They took him prisoner, prolonging his existence just another few awful days it seemed. He didn't even fight them, handing over his wrists. Suzaku had welcomed his death. Lelouch saw no reason why he couldn't welcome it as well.

If that God that Lelouch so desperately wanted to believe in was still up there somewhere, he hoped that on the other end of this long road he would see his best friend again.

* * *

When he woke under the blinding fluorescent light, Lelouch's body instinctively started to shake.

It had been... There was no telling really. He wasn't allowed the luxury of any sort to tell the time. It had felt like days. Although he knew it was probably just his mind playing tricks on him. He slept when the light went off and he starred, with wide blank eyes at the walls when ever the light was on.

A few times he'd had visitors. He'd been told that they just wanted some information. Lelouch had quite kindly obliged. He'd opened his mouth and let it all roll off his tongue. He tried his hardest to convince them all of his uselessness. Besides, he'd never known much about that war machine of an empire anyway. Paranoid, they had stopped telling their military officers long ago any information other than their next ordered attack position.

He tensed in his cell, realizing only that food had been slid under the door yet again. There was a moment before the lights shut off again, this time letting a dim glow breech through the cell door.

The bed cracked as he rolled in to his sides. His hands were always cuffed and his feet hobbled. He was even starting to blister from the chafing of his skin at his wrists and ankles, but he never said anything to the guard that checked on him every now and them.

His eyes studied the food for a long moment before Lelouch looked away, turning away from the door and the light, hoping to fall back asleep quickly.

* * *

"They're dead from the inside."Lelouch droned off to a regal looking man sitting across from him. He hadn't even asked, Lelouch had just started talking. He didn't even look up from his dirty and blistering wrists as he spoke on. "They're like a long dead corpse, and they know it."

The man didn't interrupt only gave a polite nod as a man came in carrying a tray. What smelled like coffee was poured into two cups before the man set one of the cups in front of Lelouch

Lelouch paused just long enough to look at the cup before he shook his head and went on. "Their own citizens are eating them alive like maggots."

"Is that why you're here?" The man asked when it was clear Lelouch had paused again. "They told me you didn't even put up a fight when you were taken. In fact, you must have quite a position among the Empire. Captain of such a massive land carrier." He took a sip of his own steaming cup. "Why would you hate them so much and do so little about it? You had enough fire power you could have caused quite a ruckus if you had turned on them."

Lelouch let his violet eyes flick up as he sneered. "I don't believe I'm clear on the question."

"If you hate them, why haven't you tried to destroy them yourself?" The man politely clarified.

That sneer on Lelouch's lips didn't leave. "Exactly the reason I'm here."

"And your thirst for vengeance," the man leaned forward as he enquired further. He tried clearly to catch Lelouch's gaze again. "What of that? What ever is it they did to you?"

Lelouch refused the man, pointedly looking away. "That is none of your concern." His cuffed wrists limp in his lap, his eyes sank lower to the floor as his jaw tightened.

"Pardon me," the man said with an incline of his head. "I do realize it must be a sensitive subject for you."

Abruptly, Lelouch looked up as the he heard the chair opposite scraping against the floor.

"I've been told you're not eating." The man said as he stood.

Again, Lelouch just looked away instead of acknowledging and answering.

The man paused as he took a step closer to Lelouch. "Take care of your self, Mr. Lamprouge. I can guarantee you we will not let you die while in our custody."

There was a tick of Lelouch's head as his brow furrowed at the statement. The large man went to step away, but before Lelouch's hand shot out gripping his wrist. He could hear the cock of a rifle from out side the door, but Lelouch paid little heed as he looked up.

"Why?" He rasped.

The man smiled. "Because the disregard of life would be simply immoral, don't you think? You've committed no crime worthy of a death sentence so I see no reason why we should take your life from you. "

"And holding me prisoner isn't taking my life from me?" That silver tongue of Lelouch's shot back.

The man put a broad hand on Lelouch's shoulder. "You have served our enemy, we couldn't simply let you roam free now could, we?"

When Lelouch didn't answer the man took his hand back and went to step forward again, saying over his shoulder. "Don't despair, Mr. Lamprouge. This war will end soon enough. And more than likely quicker since you've been so willing to help."

Lelouch tightened his grip on the mans wrist at the statement.

Appearing curious more than anything, the man looked back.

Looking straight ahead at the wall, Lelouch spoke evenly. "They took something from me-the only thing that mattered to me, they stole it from me." He tilted his he up. His brow lowered and he barred his teeth as he went on. "If you do anything for my sake, I want you, all of you, to take every thing from them! Even if all that happens is a name change from Brittanian to EU, just make sure that they have absolutely nothing left, especially nothing dear to them."

When he was done, Lelouch respectfully retracted his hands and let them lie limp in his lap again.

The man paused, smiled for just a moment. "I'm afraid you're mistaken, Mr. Lamprouge. We are the Republic. Our forces took down the EU years ago." The man turned then, taking Lelouch's file from the tangle and proceeding to the door. "If you need anything, just ask for me, Coronel Waldstein."

At the door, the man turned to look at Lelouch again. "We'll be docking this hover craft on to one of the air ships with in a few hours, expect to be transferred from your cell at such time."

Lelouch was left alone for a moment then. Probably to process everything. The foremost on his mid concerned this new, Republic. How many other forces out there had simply been termed 'EU' and attacked with out thought by the Empire?

* * *

His new cell was almost exactly like his old cell. It would have been rude to say anything about it though, so instead he simply gave a nod to the Coronel escorting him and the guard that had his arm in hand. Once released, he hobbled his way to the bed and slowly sat.

"We'll be sending in a doctor to look at your your wrists." Waldstein assured before he reached forward closing the door.

Sitting on the bed, Lelouch did notice the difference then. He reached forward and pulled the string attached to the bedside lamp. Warm, orange and yellow light filled the room at the command.

Considering it for a moment, Lelouch laid back down. He told himself he should reject the light, click it off and go back to sleep. Instead, Lelouch drifted off to sleep with the warm light still on.

* * *

And that will be all for part three! Tune in next week for part four! Cheerio, mates!

~Reviews are Awesome!~


	4. Part 4

**Special Thanks: iceley11, Guest, Erieri99, Lovegranted, Nathan**

* * *

Part 4/5

* * *

Waking was like being pulled up through the water. He could feel the heavy tide still over him, holding him under. It was the deprivation he was forcing on his body. Sleep made it easier to manage the self imposed starvation than awake did.

But something's was tugging him up from under the current. A broad hand on his, Lelouch became aware suddenly that his hands were unbound.

He blinked, looking to see a tan hand caressing over his palm.

"He's kind of scrawny... He was the girl in the relationship, wasn't he?" A woman's voice bit through the silence.

"Mind your own business, Kallen." A voice very near Lelouch said in a forced polite tone. There was an undercurrent of annoyance that was clearly still there.

With a groan, Lelouch shifted his body on to his back. The light in the room was still warm, it was just so strong this time around. Lelouch squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to determine if he was on the verge of waking or if he'd simply just collapsed into a dream.

"Shhh Lelouch," a hand accompanied that voice, ghosting through his hair. "You don't have to wake if you don't want to."

This time, Lelouch cracked open an eye just enough to watch as curly brown head dipped, that broad hand lifting Lelouch's accosted wrist. Lelouch's eyes sprang open as a soft kiss was pressed to the raw and blistering skin.

"Oh, trying to kiss it better, lover boy?" The voice of the woman could be heard again. She sounded like she was garnishing quite a bit of pleasure from her readings.

Lelouch's wrist was set down and there was a sudden flurry of movement out of the corner of Lelouch's eye. He jerked his head just in time to watch a man with curly brown locks escorting a woman out of the room.

"I believe it is time you left, Kallen." The man said critically as he forcefully showed the woman out and firmly shutting the door behind her.

It took a great amount of effort to finally push himself up to actually be able to secure a better vantage point. Lelouch could already feel his limbs shaking. He'd had dreams of this sort before, which made it difficult to discern whether this was just another he would inevitable wake from. He squeezed his hands in the sheets, pain from his frail wrist shot through him like fire to affirm reality.

Lelouch swallowed hard, feeling like his mouth had run dry. "Suzaku?"

Then the boy-no, the man turned to face Lelouch and big, bright green eyes made contact.

"Yeah," he breathed. He swallowed as well before a bright smile broke. "It's me, Lelouch."

The man moved with confident, assured steps as he approached Lelouch's bed. He took up the chair there and gave Lelouch another one of those dazzling smiles.

Lelouch smiled too. His hand reached out, hesitant, before he cupped that tan wonderful cheek. "Suzaku." He said with out a doubt in his minds this time.

* * *

"I should have never left you there." Lelouch admitted in the dark.

They both lay across Suzaku's bed. It had been a flurry of limbs, wrestling their way through the door and into the bedroom hours before. And after the first gasping and hastily obtained moments of bliss they had allowed their reunion to slow to a more manageable pace. Lelouch had to say he exceedingly grateful it had too. He was utterly exhausted as he lay on his stomach, arms and head propped up over a pillow.

Suzaku's mouth paused over Lelouch's shouldered blade, halting his worship of Lelouch's bare back. He crawled up Lelouch's body a bit more, sliding a hand along the column of Lelouch's pale spine. A shiver was sent springing through Lelouch's nerves at the sensation. It was followed quickly by Suzaku's mouth ascending to the side of his neck.

Lelouch gave a groan in half protest. They needed a break. Lelouch needed sleep, for heavens sake!

With a lazy smile, Suzaku hummed a compliant reply and adjusted to a more relaxed position, still of course spread out over Lelouch's bare skin. He nuzzled into Lelouch's ear as he replied to the former comment. "You did what you had to do. I was practically dead anyway."

Shaking his head, Lelouch could feel the regret gnawing through his insides. "But you weren't dead. " he gave a sigh. "I could have done something to at least help you."

Suzaku started to run his fingers through Lelouch's bedraggled hair. "Like what?" He gave a chuckle. "There was nothing to be done. You and I both know the injured were rarely treated with care in the Britannian army. Those field doctors would have taken one look at me and thrown me out back to die in misery." He leaned forward for another kiss to Lelouch's temple. "No, if I had really died that day I would have much preferred it to be in your arms, your voice lulling me into sleep."

Lelouch shifted, turning his head to be able to see Suzaku's eyes. "So it was-these people-this-" he was having trouble to properly find the words. This was all still so new to him. "Republic, which was who we were fighting against that day?"

A shake of cinnamon curls complimented another smile. "No. It was the EU."

Lelouch's dark brow furrowed. "Then how we're you-?"

"Those men all on the ground were EU, but the hover craft weren't." Suzaku explained. There was a shift in the sheets so that Suzaku could more easily lay along side Lelouch. "You see," Suzaku started reaching over to his night stand. "The EU had been pressing Republic lines," he retrieved his wireless alarm clock and wrist watch. He set the wristwatch down on the bed in front of him. "So in retaliation, the Republic sent out their own forces," Suzaku set down the Alarm clock next to the wristwatch, though a tad behind. "That sent the EU soldiers running. " he moved the wrist watch forward. "But the Republic sent out hover craft in pursuit." He moved the alarm clock forwards to the wrist watch.

Suzaku rifled around at his unkept night stand for another moment before he went on, producing his cell phone for his next representation. "Now, here we came down the road and stumbled upon the EU forces" he moved to cell phone to the cluster of the personal affects. "And that's where our own conflict started."

The small cluster of things made looked a bit insubstantial in explaining the whole thing Lelouch thought. He decided he'd fill in the blanks himself. "So they picked you up there?" He was pretty sure he sounded just as skeptical as he felt. "Out of the kindness of their heart, they just scooped you up out of there and healed you, free of charge?"

Suzaku did laugh at that, letting his arm rest around Lelouch's shoulders. "No, that's not exactly what happened." He smiled as he spoke this time. "I'm not actually sure how they found me but they did, and with the help of some doctors I was at least given the chance to keep my life."

"And you became one of them, just like that?" Lelouch said with an enter eulogies sneer on his lips.

Shaking his head, Suzaku was leaning in closer, clearly bidding his time before he could manage some more affection out of Lelouch. "It took quite a while for that. I was their prisoner pretty much for a while. I might have still been if Lloyd hadn't of tried to test me on the Republic's own brand of Knightmares."

Cocking his head, Lelouch couldn't quite hide his amount of shock. Knightmares, he had thought, were a technology exclusive to the Britannia army.

And it was clear that it immediately lit Suzaku up as slid more secure up on to his elbows to talk about it. "They're amazing, Lelouch. The ones here, they all can fly!" He sounded almost boyish then. "It's like that with every thing in the Republic. Even their capital, they say it's all up there. There's so many stories of the capital city they have orbiting the earth. They say that's how they avoided all this war, they saw it all happening from up there and stayed out of it until they saw the opportunity to help."

He was absolutely smitten with them, Lelouch observed. He smiled as he raised a hand, brushing away some of those stray curls. Lelouch would have to ascertain for himself whether this new government entity could be wholly trusted or not. He did have to admit, if nothing else nothing yet had been said when Suzaku had attested to Lelouch's innocence, before quite bluntly making it clear Lelouch was moving into his quarters with him.

With a sly smile, now Suzaku leaned into nuzzle along Lelouch's throat. "If I continue to work for Lloyd after the war, we'll undoubtedly go there." He gave Lelouch a more cheeky smile.

Lelouch, with a sigh, flipped over on to his back, making it easier to run his fingers over Suzaku exposed skin. He let his fingers trail up along Suzaku's cheek before edging down to his throat. "Lloyd is the man you help with the Knightmares?" Lelouch wanted to know every details before he made any early assumptions about this supposed savior as well. "What exactly is it you do for him?"

Suzaku laughed, as if it were perfectly obvious. "Well, I'm a pilot." He beamed, one of the few times Lelouch had ever seen him so close to actual pride, "I'm the pilot of his Lancelot Knightmare unit. I'm the best match he's ever found, he tells me."

Another mark in favor of the Republic, a sarcastic voices in Lelouch's head mouthed off. Suzaku as a pilot was something that could have never happened in Britannia.

He shifted his hand, letting his fingers curl around and cup the side of Suzaku's face. "I don't know that I trust these people, Suzaku."

A reassuring smile spread on Suzaku's face. "It's not perfect." He leaned into press a kiss to Lelouch's lips, letting the kiss break slow. "But it's so much better than where we were."

Well, that was a point hard to fight on. So instead, Lelouch found he wanted to know more about the man lying next to him. "Is this what you want then?" His eyes searched Suzaku's. "You want to go to this space station capital and be a Knightmare pilot?"

There was a tinge of bashfulness, and possibly even embarrassment as Suzaku looked away. He didn't answer for a long moment, as Lelouch started to slide his fingers through Suzaku's hair.

"Yeah," Suzaku finally murmured, low as if he was embarrassed to admit it. "It's not, I mean I know it all just sounds a bit stupid, I just..."

Lelouch tugged that face back to him, catching that eye contact. Lelouch was just a bit amused to hear as Suzaku's words died away when they looked at each other. He gave a sincere smile before sitting up, and he leaned in to press his own slow and tender kiss on Suzaku's lips. "Then that is what we will do."

His reward was another perfectly happy smile as Suzaku lunged forward over his lover. Immediately he was on Lelouch's neck working his way up to nip and playfully take Lelouch's earlobe in his mouth.

"Hmmm," Lelouch hummed a chuckle. "I see that someone has become quite a quick learner." He enjoyed it all the same of course, letting his arms casually slide around Suzaku's shoulders.

Suzaku gave a growl of acknowledgement before he leaned up to give an answer. "I have fantasized a million times of the millions of different things I would do if I ever found you again."

"How romantic," Lelouch rolled his eyes. "If it's any accomplishment we've managed to go farther in a few hours than we ever managed in the whole eighteen years you were always by my side."

With a sneakily smile, Suzaku pressed their foreheads in together. "I never said I didn't fantasize about you while we were trapped under that measly tarp tent night after night."

Lelouch did have to admit, that statement was a bit of a turn on. He gave his own devilish smile. "I think, I might rather like it if you showed me instead of telling me."

Almost immediately, they were locked in each other's arms, desperate rocking bodies, so elated to find their match. They barely paid heed to any amount of decency or pride. They just wanted each other, every inch of each other.

And Lelouch as brought to fully have to admit, the body of the barely eighteen year old boy he had once know was so far gone. In that sad and hopeless and scared boys place a strong, confident and assured man had grown. It showed in the taunt lines and well maintained physique that now claimed every scrawny inch of Lelouch's long and poised body.

Brought to completion and bliss yet again for the night, Suzaku affectionately let Lelouch rest and lay back on the bed. He was panting and too beyond exhaustion at that point, he wasn't even sure he could have moved even if he wished to. He fancied the idea that maybe for the night they could just be done, they could just go to sleep for a bit-or a larger amount of time.

On the other hand, Suzaku stamina hadn't seemed to wane in the slightest, as he came back up to lay along Lelouch's side he still wore that effortless smile. "I have something's for you." He said as he reached for his night stand again.

"It's not another poor visualization using your things is it?" Lelouch teased as he let his eyes rest, in the closed position of course.

Suzaku chuckled. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a great story teller, especially when I have my wrist watch to help out." He rummaged for a moment before pulling back with something.

Curious, Lelouch did turn to welcome his gift. He furrowed his brow, pushing himself up on an elbow to see better.

There, cradled in Suzaku's hands, was the handkerchief Lelouch had lent to him way back when.

Lelouch smiled, taking the bit of fabric. "You're such an emotional sap." He jibbed. In contrast, he stroked the fabric lovingly as he gently examined it. When he was done, Lelouch tucked it with a caress back into Suzaku's hand, leaning forward to grace the boy with a kiss as he did.

There was a loud shutter through the craft. Lelouch jerked, looking around. Chuckling, Suzaku nuzzled into Lelouch's neck.

"All is well," he whispered. "We're just docking with the Atlantic station."

With a huff, Lelouch flopped back over on to his stomach, sinking his chin down over his crossed arms. His frustration at the fact he knew nothing of this new world must have been apparent because he could feel Suzaku moving up against him, crossing his own arms over Lelouch's shoulders. Suzaku started his praise of Lelouch's back again as if he'd never left off with a smile.

As much as Lelouch hated to admit it, it was very soothing the way Suzaku was letting his body weight rest against Lelouch, trailing his fingers again along Lelouch's spine, accented every now and then with a kiss placed on his skin.

With that lullaby of warm affection washing over him, Lelouch let his eyes droop and was very soon dosing off, comfortable enough to just let Suzaku be the one to stand watch over him.

* * *

Sad New: So my life is really busy right now. And because I write for the funzies I've decided to stop with my personal "thank yous" I send out. Just know I still really appreciate all your guys cuddles and loves. I may still send out some Review "thank yous" from now and then but for the most part I just don't have the time.

~Reviews are Awesome~


	5. Part 5

**Special Thanks: FeliLud, Jenny, Lawlipop, EriEri99, my name is paper YAH, Kuroshiro-cchi, Piggy7869, Wolf of Summer**

* * *

Part 5/5

* * *

Lelouch sincerely hoped that in the future this would not be Suzaku's idea of going out. Sitting there, ideally playing with the food in front of him, Lelouch was fully aware that the boy sitting next to him was giving him no attention what so ever.

They had boarded on to the Atlantic Station just an hour before, Suzaku swearing that Lelouch had to see and experience the station before they would be setting off again.

Station, Lelouch was finding, was the wrong word to describe the place he found himself in. He had been raised with gray, switched with possibly blacks and more shades of gray. Everything was military issue, everything had government affiliation. There was no such thing as independence. Everything from food to cloths to children's toys to contraception was all issued or approved through the over bearing Britannian government,

Living like that had made Lelouch realize that choices were something that the Britannian government strongly discouraged. He'd always wondered what would happened if there was the option of choice. At the time, it was something that Lelouch's mind had latched on to with a vice like grip, thinking he would know exactly what he wanted if only he was given the choice.

And while he found that the options of choice were still a good thing, he had never been prepared for what he encountered.

Suzaku had termed it free enterprise. And once through the security checks and air tight locks Lelouch had seen an explosion like none other he'd ever experienced. There were colors, there were choices, there was any and everything. There were things Lelouch suspected were completely useless and there were things that he thought would be completely life changing.

He'd also discovered that things here worked on a currency based system, the most shocking that according to Suzaku the shopkeeper, cooks, owners of all these different choices got to keep the currency that was exchanged for items. Suzaku had beamed as he proclaimed that they got to keep all of it. There was no such thing as income tax or investment tax on any form of income received. You received what you earned, reaped what you sowed.

It all boggled Lelouch's mind. To make it easier to process it all Suzaku had suggested they just get something to eat. In the end, that had been too overwhelming as well for Lelouch to even handle. There had been at least fifteen indifferent types of food that Suzaku had mentioned and within those types were at least four venders.

Overwhelmed, Lelouch just let Suzaku pick something. Again, Lelouch was left with feelings of inadequacy over everything. He hated feeling dumb, or that he didn't know at least enough to fake like he knew more. Now he'd been thrust into a world so different from what he always had...

So sitting there, his fork drifting through the noodles of his food, Lelouch did come to the conclusion that the change was good. The choices were good. It was only that this society required strong individuals. And Lelouch had been raised under the thumb of a government that wanted weak collective to further their goals. And the change would be hard to get used to.

Lelouch turned just enough to see that Suzaku was still in conversation with someone that Lelouch didn't know. From the look of the woman's posture and coy smile, she and Suzaku must have been friends.

"Suzaku!" Another man, this one giant and blond and far too happy set his food down opposite to them and joined the already crowded table. The man already had his attention squarely centered on Suzaku.

With a sigh, Lelouch couldn't help the feeling that he was being left desperately behind with all of these friends and coworkers. Floundering in the sea of people, Lelouch at least tried to look like he was still comfortable at Suzaku's side and took a bite of his food.

"Aw, is the Britannian brat uncomfortable among the likes of lower class citizens?"

Lelouch looked up to find himself face to face with a woman sitting next to the giant blond.

"Come on, Kallen," the blond cooed into her with a nuzzle along her neck. "He's new, give him a break."

The glare those ocean antic blue eyes were leveled at him clearly conveyed that she wasn't intending to show any kind of courtesy in Lelouch's direction.

Taken back, Lelouch didn't say a word for a moment. Then a pleasant smile curled as Lelouch leveled his own glare right back at her. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm Lelouch Lamprouge." He didn't bother to ask for her name, and he was pretty sure she knew that Lelouch didn't care for her name either.

The glare only intensified. Lelouch only made his smile just a bit more spitefully sweet.

Sparks must have been flaring between them because Lelouch felt an arm rest around his shoulders, Suzaku sitting back and those fingers starting to soothingly tangle with the hair at the side of Lelouch's head.

At least that was one way to get Suzaku's attention back where it should be, Lelouch mused to himself. He sat back himself, acting self-satisfied all the while. It didn't really matter after all what this woman said or felt for him, Lelouch knew he'd always have one ally here. The boy who had very nearly given his life for Lelouch would never turn away from him, that Lelouch knew for sure.

Kallen gave a snort and turned back to her blond giant. She commanded him easily to get her something to drink.

With a roll of his eyes, Lelouch returned to his food. Why let something waste when it was still perfectly good, even if the company was stifling.

He didn't notice that glare directed at him again until Suzaku had gotten up, nuzzling a light kiss to his temple and saying he was going to go get them some dessert. Lelouch nodded with a smile and turned back to find her.

This glare was something's that demanded attention this time around. So finishing chewing, Lelouch leaned forward, letting his elbows rest on the table and twining his fingers in front of him.

"Is there something specific you need from me?" Lelouch asked with an even tone.

"Suzaku missed drills yesterday because of you." Her tone bit enough to make Lelouch think of an aggravated pit bull was sitting across from him.

"We haven't seen each other in almost eight years, I think missing a day of work was merited in the long run of things." Lelouch leveled his own voice, letting it hiss just enough to make a point.

That sharp brow only dropped a bit more as she leaned forward as well. "Don't try to make this sound like a reunion between fated, star-crossed lovers. He's momentarily infatuated with you," her head jerked and a smile spread. "No, more like the idea of you. I think we both know that you're not exactly the same person he last knew." She made a casual gesture with her hands as if to just throwing the idea out. "You know, and maybe he's always just been in love with the idea of you, I mean after all you're the one that just left him in the mud to die alone."

As Lelouch took in a breath he swore that every bit of oxygen he ingested sparked and ran like white hot fire through his veins. He wanted to spit at her and hiss that what happened between Suzaku and him were strictly between only the two of them. Instead he took a moment to steady his emotions.

That moment was just long enough for Kallen to reload it seemed as she adjusted just slightly forward. "You know I was there, I saw the state you left him in. In fact, I watched you from the craft. Like some coward, you just took a gun and ran? That's pathetic to let your friend, nigh lover if it had been possible, to just rot like that."

Adjusting his own face in to a cultured state of blank, Lelouch let a moment stretch before he spoke again. "Of course, now you think that since you were the one to pick him up that you have more moral authority over his well fare than I?." A snort was the best response that Lelouch could think before going on. "Stick to matters that concern you, and not those of which you possess no vital understanding."

Like a cat just sprayed with water, the woman hissed back at him. "I don't trust you, you Britannian prat! We all know you were a lieutenant Coronel for them-"

Before she could finish Lelouch was on his feet. "We'll that certainly makes two of us." He growled not realizing his voice had dropped into the deep tone and risen in plume. "Because I don't trust any of you here! I trust nothing here in this floating fortress fillings with an entire society that up until a few days ago I didn't even know existed!"

Unfortunately as Lelouch turned he was met by Suzaku, and Suzaku's hurt and frowning expression.

Lelouch lifted his hands, about to explain, but instead he just let them drop. He took the small bowl of ice cream from Suzaku he guessed was meant for him before he said in a quiet tone, "thank you, Suzaku, but I'm going back to your rooms." He leaned up for a kiss on Suzaku's cheek. "Stay with your friends, you need a break from me anyway." He turned back to try and find his way back to the right ship let alone finding Suzaku's rooms after that.

* * *

His apprehensions only grew worse when Lelouch stood at one of the large bay windows, watching as they launched from the Atlantic Station. He was surprised to see that four other ships were launching almost simultaneously. All big enough to house a few communities the ships seemed to be leaving with a roar of spinning engines and streaming through the white clouds surrounding them, cutting a path through to fall into a spear head formation.

"What does all of this run on?" Lelouch asked as he heard the shuffle of foot steps behind him. The sitting room that Lelouch had chosen to seclude himself to didn't appear to be one that was commonly used. Turning his head, Lelouch confirmed that it was Suzaku that stood behind him.

"Sakuradite," Suzaku answered in a sigh. He edged closer to Lelouch, wary and seeming not to want to disturb Lelouch. "It's, this is going to sound crazy, but we mine it from the moon."

Lelouch did raise an eyebrow as he looked at Suzaku coming up to his side.

"There is enough there to supply our-well, everything for at least four or five thousand years. That will probably be a lot longer since Lloyd is workings on making stuff vertically reusable an infinite amount of times besides working on making everything's work longer on less and less Sakuradite all the time. The Lancelot still runs off of a few gallons that it was given about four years ago," Suzaku chuckled and scratched at the back of his head. "I don't understand it all, it's something to do with atoms reacting when they collide and somehow not destroying. It's all really complicated." He gave a brighter smile. "But it works, and it's basically infinite amounts of energy if we can implement a system like that through all air ships and stations"

Giving a nod, Lelouch turned back to the window. A shiver ran through his veins as he felt Suzaku inch closer, resting a hand on Lelouch's shoulder.

"I'm sorry about Kallen," he said in a small voice, very close to Lelouch's ear. "She's not always the nicest person."

Lelouch shook his head, his arms crossed over his middle tightened for just a moment before he could find the words to reply. "She has a right not to trust me. I'm the intruder in this situation." She could have been more tactful but Lelouch couldn't say that he wouldn't have done any different if some unknown stranger from Suzaku's past had just showed up and claimed a huge hunk of his time and emotion.

"And me?" Suzaku's voice was hesitant again. "Is your distrust in me right?"

There was a tick in Lelouch's neck, prompting him to turn his head to look at Suzaku. He kept his eyes forward despite it. "I never-" the pause was necessary one to let the right words come to mind. "I trust you. I just, this is all so..." Another pause, finding the right words and right way to say them to avoid an argument, "it's nothing I've ever encountered before, and I'm still not sure if any of it is real or as perfect as you would like me to believe."

There was more hurt in Suzaku's voice this time around. "I see." He did step closer though, wrapping his arms around Lelouch from behind.

There was another exhale Lelouch heard from behind him and in answer Lelouch leaned back into Suzaku's hold. Lelouch did still want Suzaku to know that he trusted him. He would have laid his life in Suzaku's hands at the drop of hat. It was just this whole new system that Lelouch had quite a lack of faith in. He wasn't sure he'd ever trust any government entity again and he was alright with that. It was better to be cautious and prepared than thrown out on your ass, Lelouch thought.

"Where are we headed?" Lelouch murmured in a casual voice as he unfolded his arms one long hand reaching back behind himself to catch and cup the side of Suzaku's face.

It was, at least Lelouch thought it was, an innocent question. He'd expected an answer that he didn't understand, again. But he was immediately put on alert as he felt Suzaku's arms around him tighten. There was a long pause then, one that wasn't making Lelouch feel any better.

There was another hesitant breath before Suzaku turned into Lelouch's ear. "We're going, well..." He stopped and then took in another breath and blurted it out. "To Brita-well, to you, the homeland."

Lelouch stiffened even more. His hand dropped down to just lay on Suzaku's arm. He looked away to the window.

"Another two fleets are meeting us over the capital." Suzaku said. His voice was clipped enough that Lelouch didn't even have a second thought by what Suzaku meant.

"And the people?" Lelouch hadn't had friends or family alive for years in the homeland, but he knew a war won on the blood innocence wouldn't have much value in the end. And the Republic sounded like they very much needed that value.

"Jams are being sent out hourly, they're telling citizens to leave." Suzaku didn't sound like he was satisfied though.

"And are the authorities are?" Lelouch wanted to make it clear.

Suzaku turned his nose into Lelouch's hair, speaking only after a few minutes. "They're denying it. As far as we can tell most citizens are being barred in. Some are getting out but we're hoping that once the first few hover craft make it over the city that they'll be able to flee."

Again, a snort was the only real response that Lelouch could come up with. "Mostly them probably don't even believe the jams. Telling your enemy your plan of action isn't exactly common."

Suzaku was quiet again, nuzzling through Lelouch's hair. He started to move his hand up and combing Lelouch hair back from his forehead. A small kiss was even nuzzled up to the side of Lelouch's forehead. "They want to end it with this strike."

An eyebrow arched at that statement and Lelouch moved to turn. "So no more war?" The concept was foreign enough, but then again Lelouch felt like his mind was latching onto it in a instant.

"Hopefully, but there is no guarantee, I'm sure there will be plenty to do after this, but everyone is hoping that there won't be any major action needed afterwards. At least not enough to need anything more than a single ship."

There was an idea brewing, something Lelouch wasn't sure he could quite express. But there was fear too, this was it after all, possibly the largest conflict to date for all of them. Lelouch's hand shot up to Suzaku's face again.

Suzaku's attention was immediately captured, his head jerking and leaning forward to Lelouch's face again.

"Stay with me then." Lelouch blurted. "If this is the last then I ask that you stay here, with me. I'll go along with whatever you want after, but just during this, for this you will stay with me."

Suzaku swallowed, probably not sure what action to take in able to keep Lelouch complacent.

Lelouch tugged a bit more urgently with his other hand on Suzaku's arm. "You want my faith, my trust, please Suzaku just give me this." Lelouch leaned back enough to whisper. "I lost you once. Don't let me go through that again, not this early at least."

There was a struggled out breath again, Suzaku pointedly not looking in Lelouch's eyes. "I-that would be out of the question-"

Lelouch had no shame interrupting. "Please, Suzaku." Tugging at Suzaku's sleeve this time around, fisting his hand in the fabric as he spoke, "Just this once. I'll let you do whatever clean up you like but for this time give it to me." Lelouch swallowed, "as a gift, just this once."

There was still the hesitation, but the second Suzaku's hold on Lelouch went lax, a smile in triumph already started to spread on Lelouch's lips.

"Alright,"

Lelouch was already turning to give Suzaku a kiss when a hand was placed on his lips.

"But we watch from here." Suzaku looked completely serious, his tone even and face solemn, "this war is my war now. I chose to keep fighting and to fight for this side, I will watch the results."

Lelouch recoiled just a bit, his brow puckered. "All that death and you want a front row seat?"

Suzaku only gave one sharp nod. "I helped caused this, I will see the product."

He didn't want to say yes to the demand, but instead of spark an Argument Lelouch leaned forward to give that kiss he had intended. "Fair enough."

There was only and before Lelouch was pulled into Suzaku's arms. It was reassuring enough that Lelouch snuggled in. He didn't close his eyes though, he watched Suzaku's face, watching those emotions run across his face.

* * *

When the fires started, Lelouch thought that Suzaku would be the one to break. But it was that cold confidence that just seemed to wash over him.

It was Lelouch that broke first. He was the one to crawl into Suzaku's arms as the fires swept through the capital far below them. Suzaku had assured Lelouch that the ship would not be landing. That was not the responsibility assigned to them.

It wasn't unsettling as much as it was-earth shattering. Lelouch knew that as he watched the blaze over taking the city he had once told others was his home town, nothing would ever be like that again in his life. With the reassurance of that though came -the fear.

The sitting room around them was dark. The only glow was the blaze before their eyes, a half a mile so beneath them. Lelouch trembled, turning his head into Suzaku's shoulder.

"Hush," Lelouch heard in his ear. It was surprising enough that Lelouch turned his head to catch one of those green eyes.

Suzaku still held that confidence, that cold exterior he slipped into whenever he took on his role as soldier. "Just close your eyes." Turning his head, Suzaku caught Lelouch in a solid lock of eye contact. "You'll be alright, I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

With a cock of his head, Lelouch leaned back, amazed at-the role reversal.

Suzaku just kept looking at him. "You're safe and sound and I'll keep it that way as long as I'm alive."

The smile that spread was for the first time in a long time sincere as Lelouch let his body to relax against his partner, "together?" He asked, his hand moving down to try and find Suzaku own hand.

Suzaku was the one to twine their fingers, looking back to the windows and the blaze glowing just out of reach, "together."

* * *

And end. I know that ending just hangs a bit, but it portrays the kind of change I wanted so I'm good with it all. Just think of it like the end of Inception. You don't really know what will happen, but does it matter? I have a love for drop off endings that probably aggravates more people haha!

Any who, thank you for the read.

~Reviews are Awesome!~


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